Why you should never dirty dance with a Valkyrie
by Crazy8ball
Summary: Exactly what the title says, changed future.Story's better then the Summary
1. Chapter 1

Why you should never dirty dance with a Valkyrie…

Chris' eyes flew open for what seemed like the thousandth time that evening as a wave of nausea swept over him yet again. This was so not cool.

His mind flicked back to Wyatt's birthday three months ago, it had been a party at P3. Oh the dancing! Chris had been training regularly in Valhalla since the start of the previous year and had become very close to his sparring partner. A Valkyrie named Kyra, beautiful, he'd asked her to come to the party and she'd consented. Sneaking out of Valhalla and the two of them had met up, dancing well into the night. Sneaking into the back room had been a first for the both of them.

Oh no.

Chris shook his head, they were only legends, Valkyries weren't a race that if you… you would… no. It was only a legend.

Then again, they once thought Excalibur was a legend.

Oh Fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

_(A/N: I'm sorta back after a serious case of writers block. (Call said writers block 'what if you weren't a Halliwell')_

_**A review I feel kinda obliged to reply too…**_

_TV Geek  
2006-10-22  
ch 1, anon. Okay Ilike the way this chapter seems to be setting up a plot for a story, but it's been three months and not even a second chapter. Basically I am saying this, if you are going to keep going with this story then don't ever leave it three months for a second chapter because that is just rude, or if you aren't going anywhere with it then say so in your profile, then I don't have false hope to deal with. Because of this attitude you seem to have with this thing and doing other stories instead, I asume you will not be updating this at all so I have no choice but to remove it from my favorites. GOOD DAY)_

_Well I wish you could have pm'd me so I don't sound like a bitch in my A/N but you didn't so all I have to say is that some people have other things to do then make sure they update every fucking story they write. I'm managing two accounts and I apologise if I haven't updated this in three months but the world does not revolve around one story. I haven't even begun to get rude. And I don't really give a damn if you remove it from your favorites because it's up to you and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And I always continue my stories so whatever-_

_Crazy…_

_Now that's out of the way, here's the nest chapter._

"Oh god not again." Chris moaned as he orbed to the bathroom and began another vomiting fit.

"Chris?" Wyatt yawned as he orbed into the bathroom, "What's wrong?"

"I'm just not feeling so hot alright?" Chris snapped.

"Maybe I could…"

"Dad already tried, didn't work. Oh god!" he vomited again.

"Chris…"

"Just leave it okay? I don't really feel like talking about it…"

"Don't make me read your mind Chris." Wyatt warned.

"Fine." He huffed sitting against the wall, his hands across his stomach, "I think I'm-" he laughed, "It's stupid. Never mind."

Wyatt's eyes bulged as he read the thought, "It's not possible!"

Chris stared up at him, "I know."

"It's physiologically impossible!"

"I know Wyatt! But it's the truth."

"How?"

"Kyra…" he muttered.

"The Valkyrie?"

Chris nodded, "Wy, we got really close and well...we…you know."

"Had sex?"

"Yes Wyatt."

"You fu…"

"YES WYATT."

"How was it?"

"Fucking brilliant."

_Three weeks later…_

Chris pulled the jumper Wyatt had given him on, they still hadn't told their parents what had happened to him, how could you? Mum, dad, I screwed a Valkyrie and now I'm pregnant. Congratulations you're going to be grandparents!

He laughed sardonically, "Should never have gotten involved with a Valkyrie; bad things happen to those who do."

"How you feeling?" Wyatt asked from the doorway.

"Okay." Chris smiled, "The bump isn't that big…I just need to be careful."

"Maybe you shouldn't come on this vanquish. You know what the healer said, you need to relax."

"Wyatt I'm okay, really." Chris sighed in frustration, "I'm not terminally ill. I can vanquish a couple of lousy demons."

"I'm trying to look after you Chris."

"I was fine by myself three months Wyatt! I'm not an imbecile. "

"You're four months pregnant Christopher! I have to fucking force feed you to make sure you don't orb it away!"

"You know what, forget the vanc. Lets go to the movies."

Break

Coming back from a movie Chris really didn't want to see, and assuming they were the only ones up Chris pulled off the jumper, his shirt coming up too. Revealing the bump on his stomach.

His hand strayed to the bump, "Hello little one…" he said softly, "I'm your daddy."

The baby responded by starting to play football inside its 'mother'.

Chris smiled warmly, he looked up at Wyatt grinning, "Wyatt."

With some prompting Wyatt put his hand on Chris' stomach, "Hey baby, I'm your Uncle."

Christopher and Wyatt Halliwell did not see their cousin baby cousin standing behind them until Penny Matthews screamed, "MUM, DAD, UNCLE LEO, AUNTY PIPER COME QUICK!"

Chris looked up and saw Penny standing there and his eyes widened almost comically as he scrambled for his jumper but he wasn't quick enough.

Blue orbs deposited Piper, Paige and Leo and Richard in the kitchen, Piper's eyes widened when she saw her youngest son, "What?"

"Mum, I can explain-"

"How-"

A wave of dizziness swept over him and he collapsed, he would have fallen to the floor if Wyatt hadn't caught him.

When he came too about fifteen minutes later Chris could hear Wyatt explaining to his parents.

"He didn't know it was going to happen mum."

"A Valkyrie." He heard his Aunt Phoebe say, _oooh shit, they brought Aunt Phoebe in on this…_

"So my first grandchild's mother is going to be my youngest son!"

"I'm sorry." Chris whispered, getting up off the couch. "I'll leave. "

"Why in the name of all that's holy would you be leaving?"

"Because I'm pregnant." Chris said flatly, "I'm a freak, and an embarassment. You'd have to be ashamed of me."

Piper walked over to Chris and placed her hand on his stomach, "You aren't going anywhere honey, you're my son and I love you."

Chris Halliwell wrapped his arms around his mother, "I love you so much mum. "

Break 

"Do you know how far along you are?"

Chris' brow furrowed in concentration, "Almost four months."

Piper looked at her son, "Are you sure? You should look…"

"I slept with Kyra on Wy's birthday…"

"Have you been eating?" Piper questioned.

Chris lowered his gaze, "Not as much as I should be." He admitted, "I wanted to keep it a secret, but Wyatt found out and has been practically stuffing food down my throat for the last month."

"CHRIS!" Piper cried, "You can't do that! You could get sick- the baby…"

"I promise I'll do better."

"Good. Now you are going to orb your ass back to your room right now Christopher and we are going to have a _really, really_ long talk…is their anything you would like?"

He gave her a sideways smile, "Peanut butter and cheese."

"Coming right up. Now go." She smiled as Chris orbed out then glared at her oldest son, "Damnit Wyatt! Why didn't you tell me?"

"What was I supposed to say?"

Piper snorted then went to the kitchen, slicing up some cheese and putting a big dollop of peanut butter on the plate before walking up the stairs into Chris' room, "Hey kiddo."

Chris sat on the edge of his bed, "I'm so sorry mum, I just didn't know what to do."

"It's okay honey, right now I'm worried about your weight. You should be a fair bit heavier, how much have you _not_ been eating?"

"Orbing dinner to homeless people most nights."

"Chris!"

"Skipping breakfast. Having lunch and snacking when I get really hungry."

"No wonder you aren't putting on any weight! That's really stupid young man!"

"I know." Chris muttered.

"Now how about this?" Piper held up the plate and a broad grin spread on Chris' face, "Yum!" Piper watched him devour the contents. He looked up, peanut butter from ear to ear, grinning like an idiot and held out a piece of cheese smothered in peanut butter, "Want some?"

"No honey, you eat it." Piper laughed, "I'll go get a face washer."

"Mum?"

Piper turned around, "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Piper returned a few minutes later and much to her son's protest, washed his face then took away the empty plate, "Be back soon Peanut."

" Kay mum. Could you get me a bottle of water?"

"Sure thing." Piper walked back downstairs with tears in her eyes.

"Piper?"

She wiped her tears away, "We're taking him to the doctors tomorrow morning."

"Piper it's the middle of the day, why don't we take him now?" Leo suggested.

Piper turned to him, "Because Leo, our son has barely eaten anything in the past three months, which may I add no one has noticed and he needs his rest! So make an appointment for tomorrow because I damn well said so!"

Piper took a drink bottle up to her younger son, "Honey?"

Looking in she saw her son curled up asleep on his bed, smiling she went over and covered him in a blanket, she kissed his forehead, "Night sweet thing."

"Mum." He moaned softly, "Mum, I'm scared."

"I know sweetie. Believe me, I am too."

"Stay…please."

Piper climbed onto the bed and slid under the covers, singing softly until he fell back to sleep, "Don't worry," she whispered, "I will never leave you."

The next morning Chris woke up to find him wrapped in his mother's arms. His hands went to his stomach, "Hey little one." He whispered, "Daddy's going to be okay, I promise."

Piper heard her son talking and smiled, she remembered doing the same thing when he was a baby.

"Mornin' Peanut."

Chris rolled over and smiled at his mother, "Hey."

"You're father's made a doctor's appointment for this morning so you might wanna get up and shower okay?"

"Okay…but you know I'm just gonna be an even bigger freak then I already am…these are mortals mum. Mortals."

"Your Uncle Cole's already drawn up some confidentiality clause contract thingys. And he's coming with us today."

"You really thought all this out, haven't you?"


End file.
